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65 Thoughts a Minute | By Laurie Wagner


I may have time to get to the Girl Scout store to get the new troupe numbers and Girl Scout USA insignia.

I wonder if those jeans are worth patching?

Is this middle aged spread or have I been eating too many nuts?

Nuts are good, right?

229 days till summer. Still time to work toward that bikini.

My feet don’t hurt that much.

You know, my shoulder feels exactly like it did during the racquetball days.

Damn mosquitoes.

I don’t need any more new clothes.

I should make some soup this week.

I loved Yvonne’s white T-shirt and long flowered jacket. She is so beautiful and neurotic.

I felt pretty at the party but no one mentioned it. Prettier than I’d felt in a long time. Are they just used to my prettiness or am I not pretty at all?

Do I have any underwear that he hasn’t seen?

We should be getting that call from the basketball coaches soon. I hope practice isn’t on Girl Scouts night.

Get to the bookstore.

If I don’t invite more than two people over at a time, we can all drink wine out of wine glasses.

I hope they take those boots back.

Mosquitoes. Will they retreat as it gets colder?

What if I run out of money?

Chocolate bacon, who would have thunk it?

I can feel my hips.

My breasts are like puddles. Exactly like my mother’s.

I think I said goodnight to him.

One day my father will die.

Should we drive or fly?

Hawaii sounds nice. People take trips they can’t afford all the time. They use their credit cards.

The house really is tilting. Maybe that’s why I wake up dizzy every morning.

200 X 180 =

What else can I offer my students? Will they hate me if I give myself a raise?

Get bread.

Don’t forget lunch for Friday.

Call Jan. Call Tom.

Rent.

I’m too nice.

But not to him. I’m not nice enough to him. I should have said goodnight.

Laundry soap.

I wonder when my haircut is.

I hope he says yes to ice skating with the Girl Scouts. What was I thinking?

I should get outside more.

My feet don’t hurt that bad.

Maybe the school girl skirt for Halloween.

R. will meet P. She knows about him now. I’ll give her the heads up that he’s coming over.

Should I tell P. she knows? No. Some things are better left unsaid.

NANO month.

I could get up early and write.

Damn mosquitoes.

I wonder if he really will get a job.

His feet feel nice.

This room is tilting.

Could I really teach in Cabo?

I hope they take those boots back.

I think I can handle two days of racquetball a week.

Maybe my shoulder hurts from lifting.

I wonder if Janie is mad at me?

I hope that check comes soon.

I’ll stop when that bottle is empty.

The cat will get the mouse.

I’ll call her tomorrow. She’ll understand. I know it’s been a week, but she never calls me on mine either.

Sometimes it’s a curse to have such good ideas. I could write that whole penis book in a NANO month. My mom says I could sell that puppy for a million dollars.

Maybe I’m not that smart.

I’m nice, but not that smart.

I am tired though.

I wonder if I’ll write another book.

Do I have to?

His feet feel nice.

————
Laurie Wagner is a writer and writing teacher in Alameda. Besides teaching weekly classes, she hosts the 27 Powers Traveling Writers series where writers from all over the country come to her house in Alameda to teach. Her essays have appeared in Salon, Glamour, and the Huffington Post. For more info: www.27powers.org.



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Photo montage by Andreas Jones.

 

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